We start so young being influenced
by the world around us and those people with whom we come in contact.
Often times the shaping of our very being can be such a painful process,
but we each must go through it.
Little by little we learn to bend
as we are molded into what others want us to be. Little by little we
learn to display what others want to see, and put aside the parts of us
that others don't seem to wish to acknowledge. Those parts aren't always
bad ... just others can't seem to handle dealing with them. As if in
some great dance, we learn the social proprieties of life.
So it is ... we begin creating
caverns inside. So it is we learn how to please others ... and how to
get attention. We begin the weaving of a person.
As we venture through life, the
process continues. We are continually forced into the molds of other's
expectations. We are compartmentalized into their little boxes that keep
them safe and content. We sometimes do it to ourselves as well, but more
often than not, it is our desire and need to be accepted ... to be
wanted ... to be loved ... and so we bend, and we weave, and reroute our
circuitry for the sake of belonging and pleasing others. We learn that
even though we love to color in our books with reds, that everyone is
coloring in blue, so we put our red crayons down in exchange for a blue
one. We may not like being part of the games that are being played on
the playground, but it's the only way that we can become part of the
group, and so we join in.
The weaving sometimes is so very
complex. We find ourselves in the looms of life and we spin and turn and
bend. The tapestry being woven with the fibers of our soul and spirit.
There are times when we feel like
we will burst if we don't get to express ourselves but more often than
not, we hold those pleasures deep inside.
Then one day ... we learn how
tightly woven we've become. We learn that all of those feelings from
inside are really us, just trying to get out ... just trying to express
themselves. It is that realization that gives us the feeling of being
lost ... the feeling of captivity ... the feeling of not being able to
realize those dreams. Even into adulthood we put down our red crayons
and color our world with blue.
There comes a time when we feel
ourselves letting go. Some are able to do it in a manner acceptable to
society. Others are not so fortunate. But soon, we learn that if we
don't let go ... if we don't fulfill our dreams that we will bend to the
point of breaking and become nothing more than little splinters of
ourselves.
Then it happens .. we begin to say
what we feel .. we begin to sing songs we've always loved. We begin to
dance the dance of the music in our heart. We find ourselves stretching,
dreaming outloud, twirling and swirling in happiness because that day
comes when we free ourselves of everyone's expectations. That day comes
when we finally say, "but that's not me ... that's you" . It is then,
that we sing the loudest. It is then that we find our red crayons and
the whole world takes on a different color. We are freed.
That color is called Happiness....
And that, My Friends is what Im doing here..... This is my Coloring book
and My Color is the Freedom to exspress myself to You, and to help you
pick up the Color of your choise,And let it be
Happiness.....